When the Relationship Between Humans All Goes Wrong

Not in the slightest good mood to write up a cheery post (there goes my goal of creating a optimistic blog). There's been so many things going on in my life that I'm just too confused as to what should I be handling/facing/solving 1st.


Maybe I'm too weak for challenges that comes into my life. Those itsy bitsy obstacle that ever so mischeviously dancing around me, trying to get me off my sanity track. And well, "you know what, obstacles? you WIN!"


When I tend to dwell deeper into my ever confusing thoughts, the more I see how pathetic my life could be. And I totally suck big time when it comes to dealing with people.


People may judge me based on materialistic stuff, by my looks, by my grades, by my acheivement. Not once where people judge me by me, by my personality, by my attitude, you know, just by... being ME.


That's why, I tend not to thread upon the ever fickle relationship between human. That's why I'd rather be alone, think alone, eat alone, drink alone, bathe alone (-__-'''), and live alone. That way, I won't get hurt. I won't feel the depression/hatred bestow upon me.


However, back to reality, I do need to put up with people. Because they are practically just everywhere, and humans are the ones that make the universe goes around. But as chicken as I sound, I decided, to run away from all of it. How??? I am yet to figure that out. 


I know, some of you might say, running from problems ain't gonna get you anywhere. But, when you think about it, sometimes, running away gives you the time to think about the source of all mishaps and gradually gives you back the courage to face them with a more appropriate/adjusted feeling. You won't feel patronized or defeated even before trying to solve all calamity. Running away, simply calms you down and present you the opportunity to see from a third person's point of view of how the pandemonium starts.


Where was I again??? Oh right, the human bonding. Well, you might have guess that I'm not good at inter-human relationship, be it infant, the kids, the elderly or even the same age ones. People were always encouraging me to learn how to maintain/earn more relationships. But to me, what's the point?? I always ended up being the pessimist that I always am and ruin it all.


Therefore, if you ask me to choose, I much rather be the girl who sits alone in the room, with the laptop and the internet, blog whatever I have to say, or rather make Youtube videos, than spend my time dealing with people.


I am much happier being alone.